Updates Galore

You'd think that when you put up a bunch of updates to auto-update that they'd actually do said task and not just disappear. Apparently, I was mistaken.

So, faithful blog readers, I do apologize, because I thought you had been reading my updates and alas, no such updates have been posting. Please don't stop following. I love you all. Really. Even the snarky one who thinks he knows more about exercising than me. You know who you are, snarky man. Ha!

Let's see... the MS Walk was this past Sunday and Team Gym Mama raised well over $400. Go us! It was also nice to see and chat with two friends that I went to high school with who I haven't seen since high school. Seriously, I don't think we've changed that much at all. Which is actually a good thing.

Oh, and I got a new pair of headphones to work with my cell phone! Wahoo! Except that I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that they're just earphones. No microphone piece. Laugh all you want. Actually, it is pretty funny and I chuckle every time I think about it. So, we've decided, my mom and I that is, that we'll just put the phones on speakerphone. Like that shouldn't have been our first option, right? I luck out in the deal, because I'll be slaving away in the basement alone on the treadmill and she'll actually be out in the open. It's going to look like she's talking to herself. Poor mom. I suggested that maybe my dad could go with her. You know, drive alongside her drinking his coffee in the golf cart while she walks. Moral support; it's the foundation of their marriage.

Another big wahoo, because I was selected to be a columnist for HandmadeNews.org! I'll be posting in the "Just For Fun" section and now I'm having anxiety that I'm not anywhere near fun enough to be posting in a "fun" section. What's a girl to do? I'll let you know when I post articles so you can all zoom on over and read them. It will be the highlight of your day. Well, after reading my snarky humor here anyway. Oh, and more importantly, you'll be able to buy ad space on my page! That's a BIG wahoo! You don't need to be in the handmade community for ad space either. So, if you sell something like, oh I don't know, let's say pepper spray (*wink, wink* to the hometeam!), for example, you could post an ad! "Stay safe while doing craft shows - Tase 'Em!" See? This column will be a piece of cake.

I know there's more I had to share with you, but I have to head out to work. I'll ramble more tomorrow. Thanks for reading, and again, apologies for the missed days.

Ha Ha Ha!

You know me enough by now to know that nothing is ever super easy, right?

Today's dilemma? The headphones won't work on our cell phones.

For some reason...that just cracks. me. up!

Finding Motivation with AT&T

My mom and I both lack motivation sometimes. Sometimes is putting it nicely. Especially when it comes to exercise. So, we decided that we're going to let technology help us out.

Starting sometime in the near future (hahahahaha) we're going to figure out when we both have time each week to walk. We're then going to call one another and chat while we walk. It'll be like walking together even though she'll be on a gorgeous island in the middle of the blue ocean and I'll be in the dark basement on a treadmill. But, hey, beggars can't be choosers here. And it's in the near future and not today, because she's here visiting. Sort of defeats the purpose of calling one another when we're in the same room.

So, bring on the earbuds, Momma, we're going walking!

Repeat After Me: Cell Phones Are Not Trash

It's a little lesson I have to teach my 16 month old daughter. Cell phones, no matter how battered they look, while they are still under contract and being used, do not belong in the trashcan.

My best friend called me on my cell phone at 8am yesterday morning. Only best friends and close family can call that early, so don't get any ideas. We chatted and she got to hear snippets of my conversations with my children like "Don't hit me with your Lightsaber!" and "Keep your clothes on!" Good times.

Well, I hung up and settled myself for some email checking and coffee drinking. The cell phone was casually placed on the side table. Big mistake. Shae-zilla was playing and throwing things away. Like the tv remote. Well, I caught the remote and decided to empty the garbage.

Later, on the way out the door with my dad, I realized my cell phone was nowhere in sight. Figuring I would find it later I went out and forgot that I couldn't find it until 8:30 last night. I called it repeatedly to no avail. Usually, I can hear it ring and find it that way.

Then, that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach grew. Trashcan by the table. No cell phone. Trash with dirty diapers now outside in the garbage can in the rain. So, I opened the back door and called the number again. Sure enough my trash started to ring.

Did I mention it was raining? Pouring, soaking, bone cold rain. *Insert me digging through a trash bag full of dirty diapers and coffee grounds trying to find my phone.*

Thankfully, it was found and properly sterilized. Yuck. So, can you guess what today's lesson is going to be? That's right, repeat after me, "Cell phones are not trash."

Speaking of lessons...check out the newly posted Lesson #37 on Lessons From My Dad.

Camels and Gilad

It's not that I like to pick on Gilad, it's just that it's so easy. Yes, he's a studly hunk of burning love to some, but for me he just brings back memories of high school. Although, I have to admit, he can move pretty darn fast for his age.

The other day we were flipping through the channels at my brother's house and happened upon FitTV. There, in all his high-def glory, was Gilad. Gilad and four other workout people, some dancers, a guitar player and some camel overlays. I don't know if it was just my brother's tv or what, but the images seemed strangely compacted. Everyone looked oddly short and stumpy. The strangest part was that while they were exercising the producer would through in these weird overlay images of camels. Seriously, I have no idea why a camel image would encourage one to exercise more vehemently, but apparently they thought it would motivate the watchers.

We sat there, staring in open-mouthed fascination/horror, for quite some time. The baby broke the spell when she breathed, "OH!" as the camel popped on the screen for the fifth time. It brought us all back to reality and the channel was quickly changed. For a moment though, we were all under the power of Gilad's workout. It was truly frightening.

How'd She Get So Much Energy?

My mom and dad flew in last night for some time with the family. Not to mention business meetings, doctor's appointments and mad dash shopping that they can't do on their island. After spending part of the day with my mom I am convinced that she has some serious stamina.

I think it hit me about the time I sat down to eat lunch. A lunch that she had cheerfully and perkily (is that even a word?!) made after we got back from a marathon shopping trip to Super Walmart. Super Walmart a.k.a "The Vast Vortex of Time and Space Where You Can Waste 10 Hours And Never Even Know It." Seriously, sometimes that place scares me.

We somehow had made it out of Walmart and I was dragging. The cold medicine is not working and I was ready for a nap. But not my mom! No sirree! She was like the Energizer Bunny just zipping along. God bless her! Maybe it's because she has to zoom around to get groceries and go to the bank at home that she can maintain such a pace. Maybe I'm just lazy.

Either way, I have regained my appreciation for my mother's ability to shop and run errands faster than any other human being I have ever met. Mom, you put me to shame!

Now, while you're cooking dinner I'm just going to go take a quick little nap...

Favorites.

I know I work in a nursing home and that every resident will inevitably pass away, but it doesn't make it any easier.

One of my favorite ladies is dying. I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but I can't help it. I love them all. Yes, I love every single resident there. No exceptions. But this lady...well, this lady looks like my great-grandma and she has my mother's name.

The first night that I was officially "on my own" getting residents ready for bed, I had her. I was so nervous. I'd just passed my licensing exam and was so scared I was going to do something wrong.

Well, I was helping her transfer from her wheelchair into her bed and somehow she ended up diagonally on her bed. I had a moment of panic and then she started to laugh. She was laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks. So, I started laughing too. We made it through the rest of the care and at the very end she called me back to her bedside.

"Come here," she said. "You did a great job. I'm so lucky to have had you taking care of me tonight. Now, give me a kiss and go home to your family."

I, of course, burst into tears, because I had been so anxious and now she was comforting me. It was such a moment of grace.

I told her how much that meant to me last night when I sat holding her hand at the end of my shift. She was slipping in and out of consciousness, her eyes closed, her mouth parted. But she was there. She squeezed my hand so tightly when I told her how much I love her and the corner of her mouth lifted when I told her how much she makes me laugh. She'll be going soon. I know that and I have no regrets about not saying what I wanted to say to her.

She is very loved and will be very missed. And she will always be one of my favorites.

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

It's a rainy day here in the good ol' Northeast and my body is rebelling. I feel like my head is stuffed with cotton and my bones and muscles are crying for a nap. A long, uninterrupted nap. Yeah, I know....good luck with that.

I can't believe I've got another cold. Just be thankful you can't catch it from where you are. We, the collective five of us, have been in varying stages of colds and the flu since the afternoon of Tuesday, March 17th. I'm ready to be done with it.

So, I'm trying to distract myself and am making a yoga bag for the Gym Mama Studio on ArtFire. It's a pretty robin's egg blue with a black & white geo print for the pocket, straps and cord. Even if you don't do yoga you'll want to buy it. Seriously. It's pretty. Very, very pretty. And very reasonably priced if I do say so myself.

I'll also be posting the pattern & a kit for it at my pattern store on ArtFire called She Made That. Don't worry about running over there right now to peek, because I have nothing in the shop except a banner and avatar.

For now though I'm holding my sleeping Baby Girl who is currently cutting four, yes four, teeth all at once. God bless her.

Spring Body Challenge

Well, I guess my inability to remove myself from email lists may be slightly advantageous. Hefty emphasis on slightly. Discovery Health is, apparently, having a Spring Body Challenge and you too are invited to join.

What will you receive that will make your life oh so much better, you ask? Well, according to the email here's what's included:

"Join now and receive FREE:

* 2 week Bally Total Fitness® membership*
* Custom meal plans with over 1,000 easy, healthy recipes
* Progressive fitness plans, tailored for you by experts
* 24/7 support from successful Challengers
* Individualized weight and fitness trackers
* Video and interactive tools from fitness and weight loss professionals
* A weekly e-newsletter filled with recipes, tools and helpful articles"

There was a whole bunch of legal disclaimer stuff about the 2 week Bally's pass. Like you have to print it out and redeem it between today and May 11, 2009. I didn't read all of the teeny tiny fine print, but I'm guessing you'll also have to listen to a sales pitch from a blond muscled guy named Sven. Those sales pitches start out okay, but then they turn ugly.

They turn ugly when things start to happen....like them weighing you and calculating your BMI with that "Holy cow, I can't believe you're not strapped to a heart monitor and iv drip" expression on their perfectly tan faces. You know, I'm needing blog material so much, that I may just go and take them up on a free trial. I'll sacrifice because I know you all need a good fitness related laugh.

I'll keep you posted.

10 Reviews in 20 Days

What's your favorite home exercise DVD? I need your suggestions, wonderful blog readers, because I'm going to review ten of them and give away my favorite! I'd like to start the reviews next Monday, so that means I need some serious suggesting.

So, please, leave a comment with your favorite exercise DVD. Yoga, pilates, aerobics...you name it and I'll give it a shot! Although, I'm a bit wary of the exercise ball DVDs (and with good reason), so you may want to pick something else.

AND to thank you for your help with the suggestions I'll have a special prize for the people who suggest the 10 DVDs I review! I know you're excited.... =)

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter, wonderful blog readers! May your day be blessed with peace and happiness and the joy in knowing that Christ has risen!

God of Wonders by Third Day

A Fly on the Wall

Some insight into my conversations with Mr. GymMama...

Mr. GM: "Honey, you've got muscle tone in your abs!"

Me: "I do? No, I don't think so. The lighting in here is bad."

Mr. GM: "No, really, there's muscle there. Right in the center. That's muscle." (as he pokes my stomach)

Me: "I appreciate the compliment, but really, I think that's just last night's chocolate cake. It's sitting like a rock."


Who says I have delusions of toned abs?

New Avatar

Just wanted to show you the new avatar I made for Green Hill Soap Co. on ArtFire. What do you think?

Beadin' By The Sea

There's a lovely woman named Debora who has started visiting this blog. She's the proud owner of Beadin' By The Sea. I first discovered her work through a Project Wonderful ad that was placed here after I Twittered about free ad space. I have to tell you, I absolutely fell in love with her pieces!

Here are some of my favorites...

This one


and I love this...


and this one...


Aren't they lovely?

I love them so much that I'm buying that sweet little ring for myself. I can't wear my wedding bands to work, because of the prongs, so this will be perfect!

You can find more of Debora's work at Beadin' By The Sea. I also encourage you to check out her blog. She's a wonderful artisan and I am so honored that she stops by, reads and comments on my little blog. Thanks, Debora! I wish you all the best at ArtFire!

Craft ADD

I had to laugh at myself today. Okay, I do that quite a bit, but today took the cake.

I was thinking about Handmade News and writing an article about crafting ADD. It's a serious affliction, you know. Well, before 10am I had cut a new batch of soap, boiled eggs for Easter egg decorating, took pictures and created a Crinkly Baby Block of Power (see the pretty picture below), and rearranged the entire living room.



My dining room table has the remainders of my frantic need to create. It's funny really. The table is heaped in fabric, buttons, thread, paper and items I don't even know the name of. Serious Craft ADD. And here I am, sitting at the computer desk, with my back to the dining room.

Thankfully, Mr. Gym Mama doesn't come home for an hour. That gives me time to clean up, shower, get the kids ready for Grandma's and pretend none of this happened. What a mess.

Oh, and to top things off, I hit "Enter" instead of shift when I was working on the Handmade News application and sent the application in without some very important things. Like my name and contact information. Lovely.

Customer Service Gone Awry

We love this organic farm that's about 15 minutes from our house. It's nestled back along a road we'd never traveled and it's full of organic goodness. We especially like the "pick your own" feature, because, well, we have kids who like to get dirty. It's truly the perfect family outing for food kind of place.

Except their customer service stinks. For me, stinky customer service is a huge turn off. No matter how much I like your organic veggies. My parents very kindly ordered a yearly family pass for my husband for Christmas that was to include special emails, discounts, a reusable bag, etc., etc. Well, it's April. Almost mid-April at this point and we've yet to receive an email, a reusable bag, announcements of specials or anything other than a phone call two months ago and then a phone call this afternoon.

The phone call two months ago was to inquire about the email address (which we'd given them twice already) and to let us know the voucher for the bag would be emailed that very afternoon. Apparently, there's a time warp that I was previously unaware of, because today's phone call was for the exact same thing. Except that today the message also indicated that they are missing the last four numbers of the credit card. Huh?!?

So, I'm not holding my breath that the email will appear this afternoon, but I am reminded of the importance of customer service. It's an everyday must have.

Project Wonderful

If you scroll down a bit and take a gander at the right side bar you'll see some ads, 5 to be exact, and a notice from Project Wonderful.

What, you may ask, is Project Wonderful? Well, it's an advertising group that has a unique, transparent way to advertise. You can advertise anywhere that has Project Wonderful ads and you'll always know exactly how much any particular ad box costs. You pay per day, not per click and you set the number of days or your budget for each ad box. It's pretty cool actually. Especially, because you can get free and $0.01 advertising!

So, why are they on this blog? Well, I've been advertising Green Hill Soap Co. and this will help even things out. I have to approve the ads before they go on here, so if you see something that offends you, as a faithful blog reader, please let me know.

I'm going to have a giveaway on here tomorrow, so start gearing up! You'll LOVE it! =)

Remember

A Dr. Seuss-ish tale of my thighs

I got an email from Discovery Health this morning titled "Toning your Thighs." I, of course, discovered this while sipping a cup of coffee and eating a donut. Oh, the irony.

It got me to thinkin' about the myriad of "fitness/health" spam emails I get every morning. There's the one from Jillian the scary trainer on The Biggest Loser, there's the ones from Discovery Health, there's usually one or two from Bally's (although I haven't been there since high school), Weight Watchers throws out a couple each day and there's always one or two more. I've unsubscribed to them all. MANY times. But, no, they don't give a hoot if I don't want their emails anymore. They just keep sending them.

I guess it's in the hope that one morning I will put down that coffee and donut and proclaim,

"This is it;
This is the day!
My thighs need to shrink;
I'm on my way!
Hello, Jillian;
Hello, Bally's!
Make room for me;
My thighs are flabby!"

Mmhmm. Good luck with that. Now, please, unsubscribe me.

Vampires & Sassafrass

So, I worked this weekend. The long, long weekend that makes me happy to have Monday.

This weekend, they, once again, left me no work, so I read. I had picked up Twilight at Target the other day on a whim. Holy moly, I started reading it on Saturday at 2:30 and finished it last night at 10. I could NOT put it down. Who knew a book about teenage vampires would be so engaging?!

Mr. GymMama asked why I liked it and, honestly, it's just a good read. It's a huge book, but it moves fast and the characters are...well, engaging. I'm not sure how else to put it. I'm interested to know if the second book is just as good as the first.

On a different, work related, note, a resident made my night on Saturday. He saw me and his face lit up, "There she is! It's my sweet little Sassafrass! Don't you just look lovely as always!" Kind words, but when they come from someone with severe dementia, well, they mean a little bit more. And I like the nickname Sassafrass. It makes me smile.

Dr. McDreamy at 7:30am

I hope the surgeon this morning never finds out I write this blog, because wowzerz, he was a hottie and here I am going to write about him. I know, 7:30am is early to see a surgeon, but let me go back and explain the sequence of events leading up to my encounter with Dr. McDreamy. And yes, before I go on, I'm fine. And no, you're right, no matter how dreamy he is or was, he could never hold a candle to my very own Hubby McDreamy. =)

So, a long, long time ago...which was really only 4 weeks, I went for my semi-annual skin check at the dermatologist. An abnormal mole was found on my lower back in the exact spot where bending and clothing rubbing occur. Abnormal, but not cancerous. So, the doctor had removed the area at the time, but said it would be best to have Dr. McDreamy fully remove the area since I do have a history of basal cell carcinoma. I was fine with that even while unaware that Dr. McDreamy was really dreamy. I have no look requirements for surgeons cutting from the fat on my back. Get it out and don't tell anyone how squishy that area is, is sort of my thinking for anyone venturing there.

Well, McDreamy, being the successful and busy surgeon that he is, only has appointments on Wednesdays & Fridays at 7:30, 7:50 and 8:15. This morning at 7:30 was his first available, so I booked it.

I arrived on this wet, soggy, humid day with my massive amount of red hair all a-frizz. Curls and humidity do NOT mix. The receptionist offered my pastries and coffee, but I opted for the Bubble Gum DumDum. I'd brushed before, but forgotten a piece of gum. Didn't want to have stinky breath, ya' know.

The nurse came to get me and I swear I had to do a double take. Her lips were HUGE. Not just slightly plump, but GIGANTIC. She looked like Angelina Jolie on lip steroids. Yes, she said, she's had some lip plumper injected yesterday. Wow. I sure hope that wasn't an advertisement, because lady, you look BAD.

So, we go to the room, she looks at my back, takes a picture (yep, really) and says the doctor will be in. "You look just like his wife!" she adds as she carefully maneuvers her lips out the door.

Well, a few minutes later and Dr. McDreamy walks in. Seriously. Hot. He does a double take. "You look like my wife!" *sigh* lovely. He was funny, smart, cute and really good with liberally injecting novacaine. All traits in a surgeon that make me swoon. He also let me know that redheads metabolize anesthesia quicker, almost twice as fast, as everyone else. A happy little tidbit of information that would have served me well earlier in life....like during childbirth perhaps.

McDreamy decides not to do the procedure involving stitches because "your activity would be severly restricted due to where they'd be" and decides, instead, to scoop out more of the area and zap it. Sounded good until the novacaine started to wear off about an hour ago. Now, happy feelings are gone.

But semi-fond feelings for McDreamy remain. Semi-fond, because, well, he caused the pain. Darn it. Pass some Tylenol.

Resourcefulness & Snarky Humor

Seriously, you didn't come here for anything fitness related, did you?

Good. Then let's proceed.

I received this gem of a card from my 5 year old yesterday for my birthday:

(in case you can't read it, it says, "Who's Thinking Outside the Box Again?" And yes, that's a cat litter box with cat litter and...cat poo on that conference table.) And inside...


I'll get a picture of the card from my 7 year old tomorrow. Let me assure you, in case there was any doubt at this point, our children have fully embraced their snarky humor genes.

And now for the resourcefulness. These pictures were taken after I asked Baby Girl to find her hat.




Target Brand Diapers. Soft, absorbent, and good headgear.

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me!

It's shameless to sing Happy Birthday to yourself, I know, but, honestly, I don't particularly care. It's my birthday! And I got up early and went and got donuts. Not a very Gym Mama thing to do, but then again these are not just any donuts. These are SuzEJo donuts. Trust me, once you have a SuzEJo there's just no going back.

Anyway, a couple of things I want to let you know about.

First, we're having a 20% off sale at both the GymMama and GreenHillSoapCo studios on ArtFire to celebrate my birthday. So, go, shop and stimulate my economy. ;)

Second, our soaps are part of an Eco-Friendly giveaway on RiskyBeads. Lots of good things, so hop on over and enter to win.

And the third and final thing is that, well, okay, never mind. There were just two things. But those two are really important!

Have a great day and know that I'll eat an extra bite of ice cream just for you. I'm willing to sacrifice.