No, honey, I'm not going to apologize. I didn't say you were out of shape. I said you couldn't get up off the floor.
[Please note there were quite a few versions of sentences that were written at this point, but I'd like to remain married for at least another 30-40 years, so it was best that I, er, we chuckle over them privately and then delete them.]
And no, faithful blog readers, we are apparently not done with this.