Acceptance is a powerful thing. It's rare to find it, completely and freely given. Prejudices, societal pressure, and an unhealthy need to conform to a norm, can all make it impossible to accept things, accept people, as they are.
Even in families and friendships acceptance isn't always a given. It should be, perhaps, but it isn't. And that's why the fear of rejection is a nagging voice inside our heads. We censor the letters we type, the words we speak, and the actions we take for fear of rejection.
And that fear then creates a barrier, a wall that few are trusted behind. We have our public persona and then the one that is really us. The public persona is usually the one that conforms to what society expects. The true self is the one that stays hidden.
So, what happens when you let someone in enough to see who you really are? Do they promise acceptance, but quietly find fault with you until they are once again on the other side of that wall you've built around yourself? Or do they truly accept you - without censure, without judgment, without rejection? What should happen? What does happen?
It depends on the person, doesn't it? Trusting enough to be accepted unconditionally isn't an easy thing for anyone. There's usually a knee-jerk reaction to hold back words, erase sentences and simply step back from the friendship. It's better to be silent than to be rejected. It's safer to stay away than to trust.
Except that...it really isn't.
Living life behind a facade of what you think people expect is not really living. It keeps you from growing and laughing and loving. And as I sit here in the early morning hours struggling with what to write next, I realize that this...these random thoughts and crazy musings are more the real me than not. Wildly random, slightly disjointed and vulnerable to scrutiny and, yes, to rejection.
But sometimes, sometimes it's worth taking that risk. It's a leap of faith when you don't really know why you're leaping or why you feel like you should. But sometimes, after taking the risk you realize exactly how much better life can be when you are simply you. No false pretenses, no held back words, no erased sentences.
Acceptance, from you, with no fear of rejection, is a gift that I cherish.