RIP Sweet Snickers

Snickers, our other kitty, passed away this week. It was exactly 40 days since his brother died that he died, and while very saddened, I am happy that they're back together. They were never apart and Snickers missed Skittles dearly. As with Skittles, we sensed that he was fading and on his last night I sat on my porch rocker with him on my lap, wrapped snugly in a soft blanket, and just rocked softly until 2 in the morning. He died the next afternoon. Sigh.

The loss of 3 longtime pets in 3 months is, for lack of a better word, heartbreaking.

Little Miss has it now in her head that if someone or something stops eating that means they are dying. So, when hubs and I were talking about Hope not being hungry, she quickly became fearful and asked if Hope was dying too. Bleh.

So much change. So much loss this year. I have to say that I cannot wait for 2012. I have truly had enough of 2011.

And We Lose Another One.

When Dan and I first moved to Arizona, we lived in a ground floor, corner apartment with three windows, a loud truck that parked outside our bedroom window at 6am every morning, and a spring door stopper on the bedroom door. That spring door stopper would become the favorite toy of two cats that we adopted from a shelter a few months after. They'd reach under the door and hit the stopper at 3am so we would wake to hearing "doooing" echoing throughout the room.

Skittles and Snickers. They were part of the "Candy Family" at the shelter and Skittles was, by far, the more outgoing one. Always looking for a snuggle, always looking to play, and always protective of his brother. In fact, we had no intention of getting two cats, but the shelter said they really wanted the two to stay together and we had fallen in love with Skittles instantly.

When Kato, our 130lb. german shep/lab mix, died in July, Skittles never quite recovered. His depression was immediate and he started hiding out in the bathroom, behind the curtain on the window. He rarely went downstairs and stopped eating. We knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer, but when we awoke to find he had passed during the night, it was still crushing.

Two beloved pets gone in a matter of two months. Snickers, I fear, will not last long without his brother. And that is a day I dread.

Miss you, sweet Skittles...

Favorites.

I know I work in a nursing home and that every resident will inevitably pass away, but it doesn't make it any easier.

One of my favorite ladies is dying. I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but I can't help it. I love them all. Yes, I love every single resident there. No exceptions. But this lady...well, this lady looks like my great-grandma and she has my mother's name.

The first night that I was officially "on my own" getting residents ready for bed, I had her. I was so nervous. I'd just passed my licensing exam and was so scared I was going to do something wrong.

Well, I was helping her transfer from her wheelchair into her bed and somehow she ended up diagonally on her bed. I had a moment of panic and then she started to laugh. She was laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks. So, I started laughing too. We made it through the rest of the care and at the very end she called me back to her bedside.

"Come here," she said. "You did a great job. I'm so lucky to have had you taking care of me tonight. Now, give me a kiss and go home to your family."

I, of course, burst into tears, because I had been so anxious and now she was comforting me. It was such a moment of grace.

I told her how much that meant to me last night when I sat holding her hand at the end of my shift. She was slipping in and out of consciousness, her eyes closed, her mouth parted. But she was there. She squeezed my hand so tightly when I told her how much I love her and the corner of her mouth lifted when I told her how much she makes me laugh. She'll be going soon. I know that and I have no regrets about not saying what I wanted to say to her.

She is very loved and will be very missed. And she will always be one of my favorites.