Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Escape Clause

No, not the movie. The reason why I went to the gym the other night for "just a tour" to begin with. I need a break from the house, the kids, the doing. I need a "ME" thing and it was either head to the gym or head to the store to do some mindless shopping that wouldn't change anything except my credit card statement. So, the gym it was.

Honestly, I had no intention of actually joining the gym...I just wanted to see it. (Really, honey,I swear!) And then while I was there I started thinking about why this would be a good choice for me. It could be my daily "Escape Clause". And it could get me back in a size in the single digits. What a bonus. The euphoria of spending an hour on the recumbant bike reading the latest phoo-phoo novel all by myself was just too much to pass up. What mom doesn't need "me" time? Show me someone who says she doesn't and I'll show you a liar-liar-pants-on-fire.

Somewhere between the hours of escape clause bliss and the meeting with Shawn it became more than just a means for "me" time. Maybe it was getting the call that my hubby's brother had taken a turn for the worse in his battle with colorectal cancer (at the age of 43) or maybe it was my best friend's mom being very ill in the hospital with unexplained bleeding and me being suddenly confronted with the reality that I'm now of the age to be the caregiver instead of being just "the kid." Facing your own mortality sure is a kicker.

I want my children to have me for their mom for as long as they possibly can. Only God knows how long that is, but if I can help by keeping my body healthy and strong then why the heck wouldn't I? I can't do anything about the things out of my control, but I can do something about my weight and my general health. So, that's why I'm doing this. The "Escape Clause" is just a bonus.

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