A Dr. Seuss-ish tale of my thighs

I got an email from Discovery Health this morning titled "Toning your Thighs." I, of course, discovered this while sipping a cup of coffee and eating a donut. Oh, the irony.

It got me to thinkin' about the myriad of "fitness/health" spam emails I get every morning. There's the one from Jillian the scary trainer on The Biggest Loser, there's the ones from Discovery Health, there's usually one or two from Bally's (although I haven't been there since high school), Weight Watchers throws out a couple each day and there's always one or two more. I've unsubscribed to them all. MANY times. But, no, they don't give a hoot if I don't want their emails anymore. They just keep sending them.

I guess it's in the hope that one morning I will put down that coffee and donut and proclaim,

"This is it;
This is the day!
My thighs need to shrink;
I'm on my way!
Hello, Jillian;
Hello, Bally's!
Make room for me;
My thighs are flabby!"

Mmhmm. Good luck with that. Now, please, unsubscribe me.