Friday, July 29, 2011

*Warning: This is NOT going to be a happy post.*

This summer has sucked. Actually, the last three months have sucked. All three of them.

There, I said it. Complete with a cuss word and a semi-disgusted look on my face that you, thankfully, cannot see.

Issues abound and to top it off, this week we had to put Kato, my beloved pony dog, to sleep. If ever there was a constant, true companion, it was that dog. And he was mine. And now he's gone. That's my life lately.

Sunday is the one year anniversary of Frances' death, Dan goes back to work on Monday, and the days of trying to cram 60 hours of work into a quarter of that time are coming back. 2am, I shall soon see you again, my friend.

I know, it's the way I look at things, it's my attitude that determines how sucky life feels. But you know what? At this moment, I'm not feeling it. I'm feeling more into the "crawl-in-bed-and-cry" option. Or the "kick-someone's-fanny" option. Honestly, both look appealing right now.

I'm mad, I'm hurt, I'm lonely, I'm frustrated, I'm freakin' exhausted, I'm overwhelmed, and I'm sad. Don't worry, there's no need to call in the anti-depressant prescription.....just give me a watermelon martini and I'll be fine.

So, how's it feel to have my first blog back from my month long hiatus be a ramble of frustration? It feels honest, a bit scary, and, well, much needed.

Tomorrow I'll play nice and be cheerful for you, but for's raw.


Dru'el the Chaotic said...

*SQUOOOOOSH* thank you for your help this week w/ my friend :)

Sue Barnfield said...

Oh my little friend - there's so much pain in this short post. So much hidden pain too. I send you my love and a prayer and and a cyber-hug, there's nothing else I can do.
x x x