Just like all of you, I have a lot of bad habits. Hiding chocolate from the children, biting my nails when I'm nervous, not eating breakfast, drinking too much coffee (yes, there is such a thing), and many more. One of the biggest bad habits that I have is comparing people to others. Now before you get all up in arms, just continue reading.
As many of you know, my oldest son struggles immensely with reading. He has dyslexia, which is a fancy word that means that his brain doesn't decode written words like the rest of ours. My younger son, while he struggles a little, can pretty much pick up a book on his grade level and read it. Just like that. Sometimes, when I'm teaching them, I have to constantly remind myself that the older is not the younger. That while the younger can read the word "struggle" with little to no trouble, for the older one, it's going to take a good 15-20 minutes to figure that word out the first time.
And it's through no fault of his own.
I think that's the key point to this rambling. While we may want someone to be something other than what they are, or we compare them to someone else, we stop giving them a fair chance to just be themselves. Trust me, I'm entirely guilty of this myself.
The thing is, you don't have to compare anyone to anyone else. I don't have to compare the older son to the younger, because I have them both and both bring me joy (and headaches!) in their own unique way. If the younger was more like the older or vice versa, I'd lose out on some of the specialness that makes each relationship so....special.
And while there are many days when I wish reading came naturally to my oldest and he could pick up words like his brother, I'm just thankful that he wants to keep trying. That even though it's tough for him (and for me!) that he keeps puttering along. Because someday, I have faith that he'll get the whole reading concept. That picking up a book will be pleasurable for him instead of the torture that it now is. I have faith.
So, I'm going to try to stop comparing, even though it can be excruciatingly difficult at times, and just enjoy the blessings that co-exist in my life. Because loving the way one child is does not negate the fact that I love the other for the way he is too.