Indecision aka A Surefire Way to Tick People Off.

Image via WikipediaHave you ever had a huge decision to make? One of those unexpected, but freaking crazy huge decisions that you just feel is a life changer? There are always two choices....at least two.

This week, for me, there were two choices. They both still hung in the balance until about 45 minutes ago. Why? Because I haven't been able to make up my mind. And, quite honestly, it's been killing me and ticking off the people around me. MAKE A DECISION ALREADY! How freakin' hard could it be?! Yeah, well, apparently, very hard.

I'm not going to spill the specifics, but here are the two main players: Greed and God.

Greed, not for wealth or fame, but for the challenge and instant success. Greed for a larger audience than I could ever even imagine having in any job I would do. For someone who works in social media and who knows, knows, KNOWS how hard it is to build a gigantically huge audience, wow, those unbelievably big numbers are HARD to walk away from. Crazy hard. Crazy hard, I've been flip-flopping for five days hard. Greed....God. Greed....God. Greed...

God.

I prayed for guidance as soon as this decision came up. I prayed for wise counsel, sure signs and insight into how exactly I could succeed if I chose something other than the greed. I've been getting it alright. Heavens, how I have been getting it. The only thing that was lacking was insight on how the success was being wrought over on the greed side. How were those amazingly large, drool-worthy audience numbers even possible?! Guess what? He gave me the answer to that too. So, now I know. I know that the numbers are possible, how they're achieved, and that by sheer dumb luck the greed filled option blossomed.

Wise counsel. Check.

Sure signs. Check.

Insight. Check.

Stubborn as a mule me. Check.

Because, guess what? I was still not convinced.

So, He sent more wise counsel, more sure signs, more insight.....and some references to It's a Wonderful Life and geese that He was sure I'd get.

And I did. Even if I frustrated everyone in the process....I got it. Finally.

Even though I'm going to walk away from the instant audience, the instant drool-worthy fan interactions and engagement, I really have no choice. It's not up to me. I'll either fail (again) at something, or succeed. It's really all about stepping out in faith.

And I think the best part of choosing not to go with greed is that it's going to be a great example for my kids.....whether I succeed or fail. I can't be a great mom if I sacrifice them at the expense of a salary and profit sharing. Greed and greatness......true, soul-deep greatness don't go hand in hand.

If nothing else, I want my kids to look back at their childhood with happy memories. I want them to say I was a great mom. Because all it takes is one great mom to make a difference in the lives of her children, her family, her friends, and her community.

And as a post note to those who have poured out your heart and soul with counsel to me over the last few days....thank you. You'll never know how much your advice, research and insight has meant to me. Now, please....come help me soar.

I'm stepping out in faith.

Exciting!

I don't usually write about work, because well, it's work and this is so NOT work. But today, the company I work with was recognized as being one of the top 100 Internet retailers for 2010. What's so exciting is that they recognized the blog and the Twitter and Facebook presence that we have as being significant factors. As the Managing Blog Director and the one who does the Twitter and Facebook posts....that's awesomely exciting.

To say that it's the best job EVER, doesn't even come close. Love it!

Happy Friday to you all! xoxoxo

Awesomeness

I know I should be fast asleep by now....after all it's almost 2am on Friday morning, but I got started on something and before I knew it....2am. Being focused is a good thing. I enjoy the concentration and excitement that accompanies an enjoyable task. Those unpleasant tasks? Oy. Those are the ones I would rather not focus on, and find that I have an unusually difficult time concentrating on. That's when outside motivation helps.

Most of the time that motivation comes in the form of my iPhone timer. I set it for a certain amount of time and race to beat the clock. When I'm in my groove I can easily do it. When I'd rather be doing anything but what I'm doing, the clock does little to help.

Sometimes motivation comes in the form of chocolate. I know. That's probably NOT the best motivation, but really, it's chocolate. Full of healthy anti-oxidants and stimulating caffeine. Right, because I need more of that. Anyway, the chocolate works much the same way as the timer. Finish an article, eat a bar, er, piece of chocolate. You get the idea.

Other times, motivation comes from other people. That's the best. It may seem wrong; you may be thinking I should be intrinsically motivated, and while I am, usually, sometimes I just need that encouragement to keep going. It's like having a coach to help me keep my head in the game. That's awesome. Really. And for those of you who coach me through and motivate me when I'd rather be cleaning the lint from the dryer trap than sitting and writing one more article, I thank you. Because you're awesome.

So, with the bulk of my work behind me for the week, and a small pile staring at me for the weekend, I can rest comfortably. Even if I did end up staying awake until 2am.

Just an Everyday Kind of Weekend.

It was a productive weekend filled with lots of work and lots of snuggles. We knew Gabe was feeling better on Saturday morning when we awoke to him laughing - loudly! - in the hallway at 5:30. That boy only has one volume and it's LOUD. When he didn't make hardly any noise on Friday, we knew he wasn't feeling well. But by Saturday, he was fine (and back to being loud!) and Shaelyn was adamant that she too was feeling much better. Thank heavens!


Dan took the kids with him to his mom's house on Saturday morning, so I could work. A blessing indeed! Out of the 53 articles that I wanted to get done this weekend, all but 8 of them are now completed. Since the other ones don't have deadlines until the end of the week, I'm thrilled. Here's hoping that my eyes find sleep before 2am every single night this week!

Saturday night found me relaxing while watching Cops and eating popcorn. Yep, really.

After church this morning I napped with Shaelyn and awoke to find it raining. The kids slipped on their flip flops and made a mad dash for the front door where we stood watching them as they jumped in puddles and ran around like crazy. The rule of the house is that playing in the rain is a given unless there's thunder and lighting. Today's rain was soft and warm; a perfect summer rain for playing in the puddles.

Back inside for a Sesame Street movie and a dose of Veggie Tales they went, while I hopped on the treadmill for a run. This time I remembered to shut the "Shake to Shuffle" option off the iPod before the run, so it was much easier to actually listen to music. Imagine that.

Then bedtime saw an ample amount of snuggles with the kids. They look so sweet - and QUIET - when they're asleep. Quiet is NEVER a word we can claim to have in our house, so we appreciate the hours of silence when they occur and cherish the sound of their voices when they're awake (and after we've started the coffee iv drip for the day).

Nothing too exciting, but sometimes those are the best weekends of all.

Huh?

It has been busy around here lately! Yesterday was literally swamped with projects, including the investigation of pumice and how it will float.....even in mom's morning coffee. And yes, if you try to write the word "pumice" on black construction paper using a pumice stone it will work....sort of....as long as you look closely and use some imagination. These are the important things I'm teaching my children. Lord have mercy on us all.

Today is again, full scale swamped, but this time it comes with the beginnings of a delightful head cold. As I was reading The Magician's Nephew (C.S. Lewis) to the kids this morning the youngest son stopped me and said, "Mom, does it really say, 'wah day wa abt?'" To which, I eloquently replied, "Huh?" Then, realizing I was so stuffy he couldn't understand me, I took some much needed DayQuil. Much better. Now the story actually makes sense and the boys don't think C.S. Lewis wrote jibberish.

On a side note of enitrely no relevance to the above, please keep the people of Haiti in your thoughts and prayers today. As a daughter of parents who live on an island in the Caribbean, I can attest to the fact that life there is vastly different from life in the states. Supplies are limited and help is much farther away than a few hour drive across state lines.

Dead Weight

The thing that I love about working with the elderly is that they are, for the most part, blatantly honest. Why lie when you're 97 and just don't give a hoot anymore about what people think?

Last night I was transporting residents up and down in the elevator to and from dinner. One of the ladies who is still aware and sassy to say the least looked at me and said, "You've got muscles!" Her surprise was evident and quite funny.

I laughed and flexed my arms to the delight of the other commuters. "I do!" I said.

"That must be because you have to lift all this dead weight. Dead weight. Get it?" she chuckled.

God bless her.

Favorites.

I know I work in a nursing home and that every resident will inevitably pass away, but it doesn't make it any easier.

One of my favorite ladies is dying. I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but I can't help it. I love them all. Yes, I love every single resident there. No exceptions. But this lady...well, this lady looks like my great-grandma and she has my mother's name.

The first night that I was officially "on my own" getting residents ready for bed, I had her. I was so nervous. I'd just passed my licensing exam and was so scared I was going to do something wrong.

Well, I was helping her transfer from her wheelchair into her bed and somehow she ended up diagonally on her bed. I had a moment of panic and then she started to laugh. She was laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks. So, I started laughing too. We made it through the rest of the care and at the very end she called me back to her bedside.

"Come here," she said. "You did a great job. I'm so lucky to have had you taking care of me tonight. Now, give me a kiss and go home to your family."

I, of course, burst into tears, because I had been so anxious and now she was comforting me. It was such a moment of grace.

I told her how much that meant to me last night when I sat holding her hand at the end of my shift. She was slipping in and out of consciousness, her eyes closed, her mouth parted. But she was there. She squeezed my hand so tightly when I told her how much I love her and the corner of her mouth lifted when I told her how much she makes me laugh. She'll be going soon. I know that and I have no regrets about not saying what I wanted to say to her.

She is very loved and will be very missed. And she will always be one of my favorites.

Vampires & Sassafrass

So, I worked this weekend. The long, long weekend that makes me happy to have Monday.

This weekend, they, once again, left me no work, so I read. I had picked up Twilight at Target the other day on a whim. Holy moly, I started reading it on Saturday at 2:30 and finished it last night at 10. I could NOT put it down. Who knew a book about teenage vampires would be so engaging?!

Mr. GymMama asked why I liked it and, honestly, it's just a good read. It's a huge book, but it moves fast and the characters are...well, engaging. I'm not sure how else to put it. I'm interested to know if the second book is just as good as the first.

On a different, work related, note, a resident made my night on Saturday. He saw me and his face lit up, "There she is! It's my sweet little Sassafrass! Don't you just look lovely as always!" Kind words, but when they come from someone with severe dementia, well, they mean a little bit more. And I like the nickname Sassafrass. It makes me smile.

Be Active, Laugh Often, Cherish Every Moment

You get a whole new perspective when working with people in a nursing home. You suddenly realize that life is short. Really short. At 20, ninety seems ancient. At 90, twenty seems like yesterday. "I can't believe I'm this old," is a common thing to hear.

There's a lot to be learned from the people I care for everyday. Cherish every moment with family. Live in the present. Feed your body healthy things. Work hard at whatever gift you've been given. Pray. Forgive. Stay active - both physically and mentally. Laugh often. Don't compromise yourself for anyone or anything. Give what you can.

There's more, but last night those were the suggestions given. I ask. Every night, while I'm caring for someone I ask them what lessons they want to pass on, what they've learned about life. It's powerfully validating for them and invaluable to me.

So, today, be active, laugh often and cherish every moment. Life truly is too short.

Want Ads, Mileage and Giveaways

6 miles. Last night at work. Really, I think someone should start touting the benefits of being a CNA and we'd get a lot more qualified and highly motivated people to come work at the nursing home. Heck with this "hire anyone" philosophy. We need an ad that says, "Come workout while at work! This position guarantees a minimum of 5 miles of walking each and every shift. Lose weight, make a difference and get paid!"

Maybe I should suggest it to the HR guy.

I was sort of excited when I actually calculated the mileage I get each week at work. It's between 25-30 miles every week. When I work on the weekends it goes up to about 35 miles. Not too shabby.

And now that I'm focusing on it, it's fun and a challenge!

And, can I just say that I am loving the NextFitness workouts?! Holy moly, why didn't I discover them sooner?!

Don't forget to enter the giveaway on GymMama.net for a 3 month subscription. It's a great giveaway and if no one enters I'm keeping it all to myself. =)

18 Miles to Nowhere

I walked 18 miles this weekend. While I was working. My mom said at this rate I could start my own 3-Day fitness walk just at work. I tend to agree.

18 miles. Sheesh. That's a lot of walking. It doesn't even count the lifting, twisting, turning and what-not that happened too. No wonder I was exhausted when I got home each day.

I have to do some serious work on updating the walk databases on GymMama.net today. It's time consuming, but worth it. And, well, the focus of the site. Minor details, eh?

Oh, I got some amazing cards this weekend from A Moment A Memory. Plantable seed cards to use as thank you cards for Gym Mama Studio orders. So, scoot on over to ArtFire, pick up a lil' somethin' and I'll send you some flowers-to-be in addition to your order in the form of a seed card. Besides, you'll get 10 extra entries into the weekly giveaway drawing! Bonus!

And before I scoot, a BIG HELLO to faithful blog reader Amy! So happy to see you back and to know that Gilad still has a special place in your heart too! (But, seriously, I think maybe his back muscles have been slightly airbrushed.)

Have a great day everyone!

Walking at Work

I bought myself a new pedometer yesterday, because the one I had kept resetting my steps every time I bumped it with my arm. Talk about frustrating.

So, yesterday I picked one up and decided to see just how many steps I actually take while working. Want to guess?

10,788 steps or 5.02 miles. From 5pm-8pm 5 nights a week. That explains a lot, huh?

I used to have a hard time even getting to 10,000 and now, wahoo! Almost 11K in 3 hours. I can't wait to wear it tonight and see if I can get to 12,000 steps.

How many steps to do you take in a day?

Let us know!

Donuts, Pigs & Exercise

Two 12 hour-ish days this weekend. I figure lots of calories were burned running around, pushing wheelchairs, serving coffee and transferring people. Of course, I also had goldfish crackers, 2 cans of soda, a delicious (and please, let me stress delicious!) Boston Cream Donut with the most decadent chocolate poured on top, and peanut butter cups. I'm hoping my snack-y intake was less than my calories burned. I doubt it, but here's hoping.

I sold another piggy bank on my etsy shop. Hopper is leaving home. A sad, but happy day. First Flo and Cloudy, then Moody and now Hopper. I think I'm going to have to get painting.

The end of the Gym Mama Biggest Loser Challenge is tomorrow. No matter what the outcome I'm just excited I lost weight during it. I'll post the results on Wednesday.

Well, I'm off to play outside with the kiddos. Or stand around and drink coffee while they ride their bikes. Either way, it's exciting to get outside in just a long sleeve shirt a week before Christmas. Reminds me of our years in Phoenix.

Top Ten

Almost a month since my last post. Holy cow. Time flies. So, in case you're wondering what I've been up to...let me bore you with the details... =)

1) I've gone to Chuck E. Cheese not once, but TWICE in the last 30 days. Unsubstantial pizza, sugary soda and lots of bright lights and noises that can make you develop a twitch. Both boys wanted their birthday meals there, so we went. Honestly, I think Daddy may have had more fun than the boys.

2) I forgot about the Exercise Ball DVD and was facing a hefty overdue library fine when the super sweet AV Lady from the library called and told me to high-tail it in there while she was there. Thank you, AV Lady. You are my hero. (I'm glancing over the "forgot about the DVD" part in hopes you won't remember that I was supposed to actually USE the video for exercising.)

3) I was told by a 91 year old woman that I looked better fatter and my hair shouldn't be partially pulled back, because it looks awful that way. Seriously. Forget the hair part and focus on the beginning. "I looked better fatter." Who says that?!

4) I am now down to the 150s. Comfortably so, I must add. Truly, it's the 3 hours 5 nights a week of busting my buns at work. My legs were burning from walking so fast the other night. Who needs a gym when you have a nursing home?!

5) Thanksgiving. I cooked, I ate, I worked...and there went all of the calories. Bonus points for work.

6) I've been crafting. Mostly to keep from exercising, I think. I'm going to be making exercising thingy-ma-bobs to go with my exercising theme, so check back.

7) Fall decorations down, Christmas decorations up. Hot chocolate - yum.

8) 300 tissues, 3 sniffly kids, 1 sniffly husband....priceless.

9) Avoiding the blog since I haven't been formally exercising. There. See, you didn't think I'd admit to it did you?

10) Trying to figure out how to design a fabulous website idea in my head. The idea in my head...not the website. Oh, stop already, you know what I mean.

So, there you have it. Weight lost, turkey eaten, avoidance admitted. What more could you ask from a blog post?

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Oh! I started Twittering! Follow me at www.twitter.com/GymMama I'm still not a twittering fool, but hey, I'm working on it!

Workout While You work

Did you vote yesterday? I hope so! The 3 amigos and I dropped by our polling place mid-morning and got right in. Apparently, people in our little district aren't mid-morning voters. Of course, the district that also votes at the same polling place had a line out the door and into the parking lot. There were a lot of annoyed looking people as we breezed right by. I figured they should be happy we weren't standing in line....3 kids, 1 frazzled mom, no waiting in line...priceless.

So, I've started a workout at work mentality...fit in whatever exercise I can as often as I can. While riding the elevator stuffed full of wheelchairs I now do calf raises (or whatever those things are called when you stand on your toes). While waiting for the elevator I do those things where you kick your leg back to your butt...one at a time, of course. And deep walking lunges down the hall make everyone chuckle while I firm my quads. I also walk really fast, but that's out of necessity and not to workout.

It must be working, because I'm down a pound and a half this week. Better than nothing, eh?

Don't Waste It

"Life is so short. When you're young it seems like it goes so slowly, but when you get older...when you get older it goes too fast. And we waste so much of it on things that don't matter. Things that don't make a difference in anyone's life. Why do we do that? Don't waste it. Make every moment count and use your life to make a difference. It goes by so fast."
-Words of wisdom from an 87 year old


(Have I mentioned I love my job?)

Why I Love My Job

I was running late tonight at work for a variety of reasons that were not of my doing, but I was left with a choice at 8:03pm. I could either help my last "assignment" (aka-"darling, sweet 96 year old woman") to bed or I could pass her off to the aide working her hallway and go home 3 minutes late vs. 30 minutes late. Either option was my call. I almost let the other aide help her to bed, but then I asked her a question... (all names have been changed for privacy reasons)

"Doris, would you like to go to bed?"

"No,I don't think yet. It's still early."

"Okay, that's fine. I just wanted to give you a choice, because I have you on my list tonight, but it's time for me to go home. If you'd like to go to bed I'm happy to stay and help you, but if you'd like to stay awake I'll let Susie know and she'll help you get to bed later tonight."

"Oh, in that case I'd like you to help me if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay. I'm happy to help you."

"You're always so cheerful and happy and it makes me happy to be in your company."

Did I mention I love Doris? Really. She's a sweet woman who doesn't get nearly as many visitors as she should and who doesn't get a lot of conversation with others, because it takes her awhile to answer sometimes. But I love her.

You know why else I love her? She said she couldn't even tell I'd had three kids and she didn't think I was old enough to have them....because aren't I only 20? Awww....

It was a good choice I made. I'm glad I stayed and left smiling...late, but smiling and thankful that my job gives me plenty of exercise and the opportunity to make people smile and feel loved. That's a good thing.

Does that get me out of going to the gym?

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P.S. - My husband pointed out that the gymnastics center that our kids go to offers adult classes. HA! You first, honey.

The Way to a Woman's Heart

My time at the gym has been non-existent. Even with the start of the GymMama.net's 1st Biggest Loser Charity Challenge underway. I've been fighting a cold since last Saturday and, ugh, I'm ready to be free of it. Thankfully, the kids are feeling pretty good...because as any parent knows you'd rather be sick than have the kiddos sick.

As I was running around last night helping to serve dinner at work, one of the ladies was hollering for her tea. She was literally hollering, "TEA! TEA! TEA!", so I'm not exaggerating with the "hollering" part. I couldn't help but chuckle and tease her as I poured her hot water and opened the tea bag. "Mary, you're keeping me on my toes tonight! Looks like I won't have to go to the gym tomorrow morning!" She looked at me, smacked my behind and replied, "Honey, you're fine the way you are. You don't need to lose any weight at all." Needless to say, I made sure her cup of tea was constantly filled throughout dinner.

Apparently, the way to a woman's heart is to compliment her weight!

Weighty Baby

Surely, carrying 20 pounds around on my hip for 90 minutes should be considered exercise. Especially when those 20 pounds are wriggling and grabbing my hair and smiling a toothy, drooling grin. That counts, right? It has to!

An hour and a half at the park is enough to drain anyone when you've a baby on your hip and your trying to keep an eye on two active boys. I'm ready for a nap. That, it seems, is quite out of the question though.

Too much to do and too big of an iced coffee to drink. (Actually, there's no such thing as TOO BIG of an iced coffee. Today there's only such thing as NOT BIG ENOUGH!) But, alas, too much to do. The consignment sale starts tomorrow and I still have 50 bags to make up and a some items to organize. Oh, and I have to go to work in an hour and a half. *sigh*

I'm pooped.

3 Pound Week

Apparently, working at night is conducive to weight loss, because I lost 3 pounds this week and only went to the gym once! Who knew? I could have saved money on a gym membership and just started working months ago!

And on a quick side note, thanks to my buddy Jeremy (of about 20 years) for the comments of support and encouragement. He's either the only one who has figured out how to leave comments or the only one who reads my blog. Either way...thanks! =)